We all grewn up believing in fairytale.. You meet Mr. Right, and soon after, start having kids. But what if he never comes along? What if things don’t go as planned and time starts running out?
♦♦If i could just turned back the time.. the time when i was 18, 2nd yr college in Lyceum of Batangas, where i met my boyfriend.. he is a friend of my classmate.. we get along once in AGONCILLO BEACH.. he is also a COM ENG student, he’s MATH smart.. they use to call him PAKENKOY… after the beach outing i got a of lot friend in his or our so called TROPA section… we used to standby after the class and make some gimik in billiard hall.. i really had a good time being with them..being with his tropa, and also my tropa… Some other people used to criticize me the way i act.. i got all the bad criticisms about my virginity… but i proved them wrong… i proved it by my rumor boyfriend… until he found that it was a big mistake… i’ve got my first sex when i was 18.. my 1st sex with someone who’s not related on me.. 1st sex with stranger.. after that very night, we settled to be boyfriend/girlfriend.. undeniable, i don’t love that person, but because of what happened to us last night i just asked him to be with me..after 8 months of ups and downs with him, we got a news which i can’t say if it’s a bad one, or wrong one.. i got pregnant.. and because of my very young age i don’t know what will be my 1st move.. but the first thing that comes into my mind is to tell to my bestfriend and help to confront my parents.. i really had a hard time of thinking how to do this… i just cried because i felt that this might be the end of my story.. the end of DREAMS… but life must go on.. we must go on.. JULY 18,1999 when we got married.. and i gave birth at Nov. 25 on that year.. i had my 1st baby when i was 19… a very young age.. we lived as a normal family.. because of having a baby i need to stop my school and take care of her..
I thought about that word: Motherhood. It seemed too big- too important for someone so small and so unprepared. I thought about what i must feel like to be a mother, and I felt sad that I would know that feeling even before I knew what it felt like to be a woman.
i was being with my husband until i got pregnant in our 2nd child. within 3 yrs of our married life there are so many obstacles came along to test our relationship. it was April 2001 that he finally finished his studies and hold a Bachelor Degree. and since i have a baby in my womb i have to drop out all my subjects and give up my scholarship being a student assistant in my department.. i had a hard time in making decision on this matter it was my career involve, but nothing else to do.. i really had no choice.. and life became more excitement but fearful coz we had an unplanned family increased until the 9th month turn of my pregnancy, Oct. 16,2002.. our 2nd angel was born, and it is a baby boy.. it was a greatful feeling to have an ANA and Ben Angels( not a given name)..Since my husband already earned some working experience in my place we decided to relocate to Lipa where he can easily find a new job to sustain the daily needs of our family.i thought it was a good start for us to make a better relation, a better family.. i thought it will help us to stand on our own and build our own lives.. but it became more complicated. i left my parents and go with him coz i trusted him. he made me believe that he can be a good provider.. it was all a big mistake.. he can’t still learn the fact that he have me as his wife, as his own family..he can’t decide on his own without the uttering mouth of my in-laws… in short he is being a 23 yr old MAMA’S BOY, a merely fact that’s untold and unseen since our BF/GF days. and i had a miserable life with him, it came to the point that he have to call my parents at 5o’clock am just to inform something about us. about us that i don’t want to let them know b’coz they will be disappointed.. i also want to discuss it and fix it as a responsible wife and mother.. but things happened.. my mother with my sister and LOLO came to pick me up with my Son.. it was his idea and my family never hesitant to bring us back to our place..
i could’nt deny that the fault is also mine… i also do have shortcomings being his wife. i can commit mistakes like a simple man does…
few months later, i found out that he have a live-in partner. it hurts so much to separate be’coz our souls are connected, because of the children. i realize that he just made a problem for me to let him go, and let him leave.. something also come into my mind that he can easily do it coz he have a career and have wings to fly and go wherever he wants…
it is 5 years ago since we separate our lives…
i took a long time in adjusting my new life and accept the fact that i will live my solo life from that moment.. i will live with my kids… i will stand to be a single parent… a parent that sometimes dreamt to have an ideal family… an ideal lifetime partner… ♦♦♦♦
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